This is what the weekend unearthed:
1. Some people don’t want what you’re pushing. No matter how much you think they do.
For example, I am a whore for sales. I get these emails every so often boasting great deals on button down shirts for my husband. I decide, in that moment, he NEEDS a new one. Or ones.
Now he has 10,000 button down shirts of myriad patterns and colors. I dress that man to the nines. But he’s all set. New shirts now make him cringe.
(Watch out. Buying awesome, lo unnecessary, shit for your significant other is an interesting and effective way to put stress on your marriage.)
2. Honesty is not always the best policy.
Me: I made a doctor’s appointment for you for tomorrow evening. Ok?
5 year old: Oh. Am I going to get health shots? I hate health shots!
Me: yeah, probably. (did he just say “health shot?”)
5 year old: NOOOOOOOOOOO! (Cries. Hides under table.)
3. Sometimes, other people’s schedules matter more than your own.
“Oh, I see my boss has rescheduled a meeting with me at the exact time* I have a laser hair removal appointment. Do I cancel my LHR or do I cancel on my boss? I mean, she certainly wouldn’t want me to be embarrassed at the beach! She cares about me. She wants me to be well kempt and happy. But she also wants me at this meeting. Oh, whatever should I do?” (Throws self onto bed to nap while wrestling with this moral dilemma.)
*For those of you finger-pointers, LHR is down the street from my office and takes exactly 15 minutes. I scheduled it during my lunch hour. Totally ethical. And, i got a Groupon. So there.
4. Overseeing many children (many being my own plus any others) in a room together causes my system to crash.
It turns out that this is all it takes to severely over-stimulate me. I could never be a kindergarten teacher. I’d need to carry a sensory deprivation tank with me at all times.
Sidenote: Is there an app for that?
5. Don’t volunteer for a task if you know that you’d rather dig your eyeballs out with your fingernails than engage in said task.
This one really doesn’t require me to expound, but, I am a card carrying member of both the Glutton for Punishment Society and the Go Ahead! Pile More Stupid Shit on My Overflowing Plate Club. Maybe you are familiar with them? Which is why, right now at this very moment I have, in my bag, a class set of 10th grade essays on the British Industrial Revolution to grade. Along with the worksheet packets that accompany them.
This is also why I know I’m going to heaven when I die.
What about you? Have you had any epiphanies of late?
