It was pouring out when I woke up this morning. I rolled my eyes immediately.
Know why?
Because rain (any inclement weather really) is like the biggest fuck you there is to working moms.
Or at least to urban working moms. (What I wouldn’t give for an attached garage on those days!)
As if school/work mornings aren’t complicated enough, every so often it rains. Yes, yes, I understand plants need water blah blah blah but it would be much more convenient to schedule the rainfall mid day, dontcha think? When people are inside anyway?
I hate to sound superficial, but there is nothing sadder or more pathetic than seeing a mom speed walking down the street trailed by two small kids, all of whom are clad in weatherproof gear and all of whom are soaking fucking wet anyway.
It’s even worse when they’re all smiling because you know, at that moment, that that mom is doing everything humanly possible to not scream out “WHY, GOD? WHY?” in the middle of the busiest intersection she can find.
Gah.
This morning’s discoveries: One of my kid’s rain boots are too small, the other kid just got new ones that we accidentally left in the car, forcing him to wear the old, holey ones. And holes, as it turns out, make rain boots less water resistant.
So yeah. We were the wet family in inappropriate footwear tearing down the streets of Brooklyn this morning. Luckily all three of our umbrellas had a sense of humor. They are so funny when they turn inside out! Over and over!
I hate umbrellas.
The best part is that once the kids get to school, they change into dry shoes and clothes and forget all about their morning jihad against Mother Nature.
I, on the other hand, am the asshole who arrives late to work (“Mommy, I can’t walk any faster! The rain keeps grabbing my feet!”) having to wring out my work clothes. Because they’ve absorbed more rain (and sweat) than they can possibly handle in a graceful manner.
Banana Republic should consider creating a maxi clothes line: a line of clothing with the absorbency of maxi pads for working moms’ wet days.
It’s my million dollar pitch.
Or I could simply invest in a longer, warmer trench that would actually keep my work clothes rain free.
Nah. I’d prefer to continue feeling personally insulted by bad weather. I’m lucky I don’t live in Seattle or London or someplace exotic that boasts of a “rainy season.”
That’d make me a real bitch.
Never go to Manchester, you really won’t like it
Right. No way in hell.
Hate rainy days. I’d say screw the work clothes and shoes and just put them in a plastic bag to carry with you, change when you get to work. It’s better than sitting in a meeting in an overheated conference room with steam coming off your clothes and not knowing if you’ve just lost bladder control because your seats so damp.